Emancipation Proclamation: Valentines Day

I’ve finally got to that part in EP that my friends have nudged me enough for me to know that it’s something to special: it’s Valentines Day in Forks, Washington and Edward is worrying a hole in the floor with his constant pacing.

Bella’s never been made to feel special, but Edward is about to set that right. She’s the dearest thing in his life and she will know it.

“We were supposed to be together. I don’t know what force it was the drove us together, if my mother had a hand in it or even my father for that matter, but whatever it was led us to where we were. And it was right. So fucking right. Laying there, holding her after making love to her and discovering exactly what the fuck that was, I knew there could never be another.”

Emancipation Proclamation, Chapter 47 by Kharizzmatik

I am typing this while listening to The Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga and it seems strangely appropriate – that eagerness and anticipation precipitating that leap, the jump off of the edge of life when you reach for what you want, that excitement when you free fall for an instant waiting for the moment to be real. Not to mention the possible puns about falling over the edge… *giggle*

Edward is a little more sentimental and sets the scene beautifully with Blue October’s 18^th Floor Balcony – singing to her from the heart, laying himself more open than he has ever been.

“So we talked about mom's and dad's 
About family pasts 
Just getting to know where we came from 
Our hearts were on display 
For all to see 
I can't believe this is happening to me and,
I raised my hand as if to show you that I was yours 
That I was so yours for the taking 
I'm so yours for the taking and
That’s when I felt the wind pick up 
I grabbed the rail while choking up 
These words to say and then you kissed me
I knew from the start 
My arms are open wide 
Your head is on my stomach 
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep 

But here we are 
On this 18th floor balcony
We're both flying away

And I'll try to sleep
to keep you in my dreams
'Till I can bring you home with me
I'll try to sleep 
and when I do I'll keep you in my dreams”

It was a lovely chapter to read, a sensual awakening, love shining from two souls – both jaded and hurt inside, though innocent in their own ways. It was beautiful to see how they can come together as a whole and leave their pasts behind.

You can find Emancipation Proclamation here: http://kharizzmatik-ep.blogspot.com/2009/08/prologue.html

Rhian

xx

Emancipation Proclamation: Strength

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”

 Mahatma Gandhi

Isabella has a strength of spirit that has allowed her to survive a life of brutality. Edward has cut himself off from the world to survive, living an empty life pushing everyone away rather than actually feeling anything inside.

What use is survival when there’s no will to live; no life to truly live?

Strength comes from within, but sometimes, it has a little outside help. 

“I was broken until you came into my life and I’m finding myself again. I never thought it would happen, never thought I’d find someone like you. My mom used to talk about fate all the time, and I think now that you’re my fate. You were brought to me for a reason, for us to save each other. Because you weren’t the only one needing saving, Bella. I was drowning, and you rescued me. You’re my life now.”

Edward, Emancipation Proclamation

“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”

 Alex Karras

Emancipation Proclamation: Carlisle

“I was sobbing loudly. Dr. Cullen stood up and took a step back, eyeing me. I glanced up at him, frightened and uncomfortable. He seemed to be contemplating something, and after a moment he grabbed the roll of duct tape. He pulled a piece of duct tape off, ripping it with his teeth, and pressed it over my mouth quickly to muffle my sounds.”

Emancipation Proclamation Chapter 17

I may be hating Carlisle right now.

I have been sobbing for Isabella’s pain. I wailed the most when he speaks to her the next day, saying that he hadn't intended to be so cruel. I honesty can’t quite pin point exactly why that section got to me as much as it did, I'll let you know if I figure it out.

I really hope that he does redeem himself.

Now I’m going to go cry some more.

“Punishment - The justice that the guilty deal out to those that are caught.”

Elbert Hubbard

Sinspiration

I have naughty thoughts this evening and thought I'd share.

The things I'd let him do with that tie...

*breathy sigh*

Rhian
xx

Midnight Sun

Midnight Sun is my favourite book of the series, even if it isn’t finished and published. It consumed me as a reader and inspired me to write my own EPOV – The Meadow – because I was gutted that Stephenie Meyer hadn’t got that far in her draft.

I find it beautiful to watch the jaded, cynical Edward come alive and dare to dream. A simple girl brings with her a silent mind and selfless nature and a hope that he had never before experienced.

When reading the books in the saga I find myself always thinking: ‘What is Edward thinking now?’ just like he does with Bella. It’s the character of Edward that keeps me here in this Twilight world.

Here is one of my favourite passages in Midnight Sun, the moment that Edward truly opens his heart and admits a love that he never thought he would feel:

“

I owed it to her to do the right thing now; I could no longer pretend that I was only in danger of loving this girl.

After all, it really didn’t matter if I left, because Bella could never see me the way I wished she would. Never see me as someone worthy of love.

Never.

Could a dead frozen heart break? I felt like mine would.

“Edward,” Bella said.

I froze, staring at her unopened eyes. Had she woken, caught me here? She looked asleep, yet her voice had been so clear…

She sighed a quiet sigh, and then moved restlessly again, rolling to her side – still fast asleep and dreaming.

“Edward,” she mumbled softly.

She was dreaming of me.

Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? I felt like mine was about to.

“Stay,” she sighed. “Don’t go. Please… don’t go.”

I struggled to find words to name the feelings that flooded through me, but I had no words strong enough the hold them. For a long moment, I drowned in them.

When I surfaced, I was not the same man I had been.

*happy sigh*

If you’d like to see my attempt at Edward’s version of the meadow scene you can find it here:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6019078/1/Illumination_Edwards_Meadow

But if you go to the Twilighted page you can see ange de l’aube’s stunning banner that she made for me:

http://twilighted.net/viewuser.php?uid=79914

Sorry for the self pimp, but it seemed to make sense with this post.

Rhian

xx

Master of the Universe

I am still in shock from the ending of the last chapter of the amazing Master of the Universe. I’m still surprised over the pregnancy revelation from the chapter before it, actually.

Icy has masterfully lured us into a false sense of security. She has rendered a solid foundation for their relationship with more open communication between them than ever before. We have seen the growth of a mutual trust that was shining through just mere moments ago it seems. I had gotten to a place where the things that I feared for this couple were external – fears for Charlie, worries about James – and my confidence in the security of Edward and Bella’s relationship was unwavering. Then bam! Kudos, Icy. Really.

Along comes a little blip, and it’s so much more than a blip on the radar; it is change and a responsibility that neither are ready for. It is a loss of control that our Fifty can simply not comprehend at this juncture in his life. He has so little faith in himself and this pregnancy has caused his faith in Bella to falter too. My heart breaks.

This is such a shock for them both and I know all too well how Edward feels unworthy of love and has fears that run much deeper than most about his ability to be a father, but nevertheless his reaction hurt. I know that it is all based on his own fear – Bella could see that when he exploded:

“

“You think I’m ready to be a father?” His voice catches, and it’s a mixture of rage and panic.

And it all becomes clear, the fear and loathing writ large in his eyes – his rage is that of a powerless adolescent. Oh Fifty, I am so sorry. It’s a shock for me too.

Add Edward’s drunken evening with Irina to the mix and everything is shaken. It's so sad to see him fall back to a place where he would seek her out as someone to lean on. I really hope that he just bumped into her somewhere.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been so scared for this couple. During their separation *shudders at the memory* the following song was often in my mind, and here it is again:

"All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right
This splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long
Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong

The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could
First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything
The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness"

I never thought I would see this pair at such odds again. *sniffs* Come on, Edward. Bella and the Blip need you.

Anyone want a hug? You can come sing Come What May with Ange and me if you like…

*hugs*

Not that I need to tell you, but you can find MotU on Icy's blog: http://50shades.com/ 

Rhian

xx

Breaking Dawn

Mmm, feathers…

Well, as you all know and are undoubtedly as frustrated with as I am, Stephenie left us with the ‘fade-to-black’ love-scene in Breaking Dawn. However, I thought that this banner based on a sneak peak of a Breaking Dawn scene in the new film needed a little less of the fading and a bit more EPOV…

"

I felt a growl rumble through my chest. My cool breath leaving my body and blowing Bella’s hair, pimpling her flesh as it whispered over her skin.

It was too much. It was all too much.

Bella’s heart beat a rapid tattoo against my chest and I felt as though my own had started beating again. Impossible, I know, but I was sensation itself; the pulsating pleasure coursing through me was a glorious torment I could barely fathom, changing everything, consuming every thought. I had no idea…

My senses were overwrought, bombarded, staggered. Bella’s heat steamed the space around us – I could feel it on my skin.

The sound of our heaving breaths and moans echoed in the large room; Bella’s heart and blood and whimpers playing a tantalizing chorus to my ears.

The smell of her arousal was thick in the air, mingling with the perfect scent of her blood. It was devastating. The wrecking ball on that first day had nothing on this. This was powerful and awoke something entirely different in me.

I’d never felt more human. I’d never felt more animal.

My mind could grasp only one thought: Bella, my love.

I hope you liked it, a bit of a different post today.

Rhian

xx

Eclipse

Hello All,

I have had the worst day and thought that some romance was in order so, continuing with the canon theme, here is a little Eclipsing.

Let's set the mood:

One of my favourite things about Edward is his willingness to sacrifice his happiness for Bella's, I find it magical that someone can love another so much that they truly put them first. Yes, I do know that they are fictional characters (I hope I'm not bursting anyone's bubble there lol) but to think that love like that exists in real life is a wondrous thing.

But even more beautiful is when Edward, for once in his very long and previously empty life, gets exactly what he desires. That smile... 

Click for a larger view

"

I reached for the ring, but his long fingers beat me there. He took my left hand in his, and slid the ring into place on my third finger. He held my hand out, and we both examined the oval sparkling against my skin. It wasn’t quite as awful as I’d feared, having it there.

“A perfect fit,” he said indifferently. “That’s nice — saves me a trip to the jewellers.”

I could hear some strong emotion burning under the casual tone of his voice, and I stared up at his face. It was there in his eyes, too, visible despite the careful nonchalance of his expression.

“You like that, don’t you?” I asked suspiciously, fluttering my fingers.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Sure,” he said, still casual. “It looks very nice on you.”

I stared into his eyes, trying to decipher the emotion that smoldered just under the surface. He gazed back, and the casual pretence suddenly slipped away. He was glowing — his angel’s face brilliant with joy and victory. He was so glorious that it knocked me breathless.

Before I could catch that breath, he was kissing me, his lips exultant. I was light-headed when he moved his mouth to whisper in my ear — but his breathing was just as ragged as mine.

“Yes, I like it. You have no idea.”

I laughed, gasping a little. “I believe you.”

I'm not very original today, but I hope that you like the banner.

Rhian

xx


Michelle honey, get well soon cc

New Moon

My Twilight canon phase continues this week. I recently started reading Ithaca is Gorges by giselle-lx, a rec from my good friend songster, and this banner came into being.

My heart is Edwards and it often breaks for him. I feel that I know him so well as I as an avid reader of Midnight Sun. But never does it hurt more than when he leaves Bella in New Moon; I can barely imagine his pain. He destroys his own happiness, thinking that he is sacrificing himself for his love when he's really wounding them both.

The most poignant moments of Stephenie Meyers' writing for me, it the outtake EPOV of Edward finding out the (mistaken) news that Bella is dead:

http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/pdf/nm_extras_rosalie.pdf

It gets me every time. The strong and infallible vampire loses his quick thinking mind, he moves like an old man unsure of his actions, out of control in his utter desolation... *tears*

Giselle offers an EPOV of the whole of New Moon and brings Edward's feelings to life so well that his pain is tangible and my heart breaks even more. There is also Carlisle POV that serves to describe what Edward can't in his own pain, giving an outside perspective of Edward's grief, while he shares in his son's grief.

If you want to check out this story you can find here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4988866/1/

Sorry if I'm sharing my emo.

Love

Rhian

xx