Fifty Shades Spoiler :S

So, I have a confession to make; I am a terrible, terrible friend.

I got all excited about Fifty Shades coming out in the shops and told my friend about it. She got all excited on my behalf when she saw a display of Fifty Shades of Grey in her local Tesco and decided to read it, she even bought a copy before I did!

I was quite excited she was reading it (first person from my RL) and we discussed it over Starbucks. She knows that I have a little cameo appearance in it (I might have gushed about it to her) so this is our conversation: 

Bestie: So, which book did you say you were in?

Me: The second one. You know I'm not a big character, there's just someone with my name. 

Bestie: So what do you do?

Me: I'm at a party. I'm the leading man's shrink’s wife. 

Bestie: Oh, right. 

Me: But I got cut from the third book, it was made shorter for the book version. I can't remember, I think it was another party... (thinks) maybe I was at their wedding.

Bestie: They get married???

Me: Oh my God!

Bestie: (pointed look)

Me: I'm so sorry. I can't believe I did that. I hate spoilers. 

Bestie: That is not how I saw the story going...

Me: I'm so sorry!

Bestie: You can keep saying that. 

Me: I'm sooo sorry. I just got a bit caught up in the excitement.

Bestie: I noticed.

Me: I'm a terrible, terrible friend. 

Bestie: Yeah. You better tell your friend that you did this to me.

Me: I'll tell her what I did. I might put it on my blog...

Bestie: You have a blog? You don’t tell me you have a blog, but you tell me that they get married?!

Worse still, my mouth ran away with me, I spoiled my friend big time and I'm not even in the freaking wedding. Icy didn't even write the wedding! What a major 'doh' moment. *shakes head at self*

Rhian

xx

Fifty and my RL. Eek.

So as you may know from previous posts, I’ve been outed to my dad who is now aware that I read ‘porn’. It’s not my description of choice for the Fifty Shades series and if asked I would say it’s a contemporary love story with some kink, but unfortunately the press in the UK haven’t cottoned on to that yet and Radio 4 is my dad’s source of information.

As you might have heard, our lovely Icy was interviewed on Radio 4’s Women’s Hour. Here’s the link if you haven’t heard it already. You’ll hear the interview about 1 minute in if you skip the news intro.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01ddxbm/Womans_Hour_Erica_James/ or http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01ddxbm You’ll find it at the bottom of the page. I know that you can listen to this one outside of the UK :)

So, back to my Monday, when I’m chatting on the phone with my mam (who doesn’t ‘know’) while my Dad’s in the in the background…

Dad: Tell her her mate was on the radio.

Mam: Dad said that he thinks he heard your friend the author on the radio this morning. What’s her book called?

Me: Fifty Shades.

Mam: That’s it, Fifty Shades of Grey.

Me: That’s the one.

Dad (in the background): Porn for women they were saying…

My subconscious: THANKS, DAD!

Mam: Oh, does she write sexy stories?

Me: This one is, a bit, yeah.

Mam: And you’re in it? I don’t know how I feel about that.

Me: (laughs)

Mam: You don’t do anything rude do you?

Me: No, Mam, I don’t. I’m a respectable doctor’s wife with two kids.

Mam: (Thinks a moment) Well, that’s alright then.

Seriously, a conversation I never thought I would have! As my friend Jodie said, no mother would complain about me being a doctor’s wife lol. I never knew my mam was so old-fashioned! I won’t be telling her anything about the pistachio sex. (Lol, you’ll get the joke if you’ve listened to the interview).

I’m getting my friend to read it; she’s going to buy the books now they’re out in the UK so that she gets what I’m going on about. It will be fun to hear how she likes the story and to see it from on ‘outside’ perspective.

I’ll keep you posted on any further embarrassing convos.  

Rhian

xx

Fifty Shades Freed

Rectifying my tardiness post-haste, here’s my banner for the latest instalment of the Fifty Shades Series – Fifty Shades Freed.

I’m so excited by all the recent mentions in the press and the excitement of a movie deal. It fascinates me to read and hear about Fifty away from the fandom and the online world. I’m waiting for that moment when someone from my RL that I haven’t old about it mentions it. Don’t think I’ll be able to contain myself.

I can’t wait to see it on the big screen, I foresee a thrilling fan fic Fifty friend outing! Though, I am a little nervous about being as aroused as I am reading the book in a public cinema… 0.0

As much as I like to talk about my love for the story, my experience while actually living the story has always been very private. When a Master of the Universe update came in, I read it alone, giving it my full attention and always needed a quiet house. It’s afterwards that I would fangirl about it with my Twitter friends or went to the bunker to squee, rave, theorise or vent as required. Watching some of those scenes in a public cinema will be a battle between my subconscious and inner goddess, I think!

I'm so excited to see how it’s done. The book was so thoroughly stimulating in every way; the tension between them, the love that blossomed, and of course, the mind-blowing sex with props. I am having flashbacks of talking about needing clean panties…. I’m not sure I want Showcase Cinema’s to know me that well. Lol! There’s no way I’ll miss it though!

Rhian

xx

Fifty Shades meets my Real Life

I’ve read and enjoyed the Fifty Shades series by E L James in the context of both the published book and back in the days of Master of the Universe; the days of constantly refreshing my e-mails waiting for an update, constantly refreshing my FF account waiting for an update, speculating to the extreme in the Twilighted Bunker, madly anticipating an update on Twitter, raving and wailing about it when it’s arrived, and the list goes on lol.

Fifty has been in my life for quite some time now, but it’s never been something that anyone else in my RL has known about, until last week! Thought I’d share my funny little story…

My family know about my Twilight obsession, that I read stories on line and have met and made friends through it. So I've been filling them in about the story’s success in the vague way of “the friend I meet in London’s book is on the New York bestsellers list” and so on…

So I see a tweet and say to my dad, “Oh, wow! They were talking about my friend's book on Radio 4 today, how cool it that?”

And it goes like this:

Dad: What's it about?

Me: It's a love story, with some kink. *cringes a little inside and avoids eye contact*

Dad: Is it a sexy story?

Me: Yeah, it is, yeah. *dies*

Dad: I heard it on Radio 4. I didn't catch the name or anything, but they were saying that the women like it because the cover’s good and people can’t tell they’re reading porn.

Me: It's not porn. *OMG*

END OF DISCUSSION

Cringe-worthy!

This could go in the awkward discussions between father and daughter hall of fame.

Rhian

xx

Fifty Shades Darker

Hi Ladies,

I’ve been a bit lazy lately and haven’t been updating this blog. I’ve had school, work, an extremely irritating wisdom tooth, but also a trip to Chile where I had a fantastic time with my friend Babs.

This week I’ve found a little time on my hands and I’ve reopened my Photoshop programme and wanted to share in case anyone’s interested. I realised that I’d been remiss and hadn’t done a banner for the following instalments of the Fifty Shades series by E L James.

Well done, Icy. Or should I say Ms James? I’m so happy for you. I knew that all those hyper Twitter exchanges and outrageous bunker posts while we waiting for a new chapter of MotU had to lead to something else. It wouldn’t have been fair to keep the story to ourselves and in the end, there’s just no way to ignore hordes of women with mouths as big as ours. Lol!

 I raise a glass to you and to your new audience. Time to seduce and titillate.

Thanks,

Rhian

Emancipation Proclamation: Valentines Day

I’ve finally got to that part in EP that my friends have nudged me enough for me to know that it’s something to special: it’s Valentines Day in Forks, Washington and Edward is worrying a hole in the floor with his constant pacing.

Bella’s never been made to feel special, but Edward is about to set that right. She’s the dearest thing in his life and she will know it.

“We were supposed to be together. I don’t know what force it was the drove us together, if my mother had a hand in it or even my father for that matter, but whatever it was led us to where we were. And it was right. So fucking right. Laying there, holding her after making love to her and discovering exactly what the fuck that was, I knew there could never be another.”

Emancipation Proclamation, Chapter 47 by Kharizzmatik

I am typing this while listening to The Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga and it seems strangely appropriate – that eagerness and anticipation precipitating that leap, the jump off of the edge of life when you reach for what you want, that excitement when you free fall for an instant waiting for the moment to be real. Not to mention the possible puns about falling over the edge… *giggle*

Edward is a little more sentimental and sets the scene beautifully with Blue October’s 18^th Floor Balcony – singing to her from the heart, laying himself more open than he has ever been.

“So we talked about mom's and dad's 
About family pasts 
Just getting to know where we came from 
Our hearts were on display 
For all to see 
I can't believe this is happening to me and,
I raised my hand as if to show you that I was yours 
That I was so yours for the taking 
I'm so yours for the taking and
That’s when I felt the wind pick up 
I grabbed the rail while choking up 
These words to say and then you kissed me
I knew from the start 
My arms are open wide 
Your head is on my stomach 
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep 

But here we are 
On this 18th floor balcony
We're both flying away

And I'll try to sleep
to keep you in my dreams
'Till I can bring you home with me
I'll try to sleep 
and when I do I'll keep you in my dreams”

It was a lovely chapter to read, a sensual awakening, love shining from two souls – both jaded and hurt inside, though innocent in their own ways. It was beautiful to see how they can come together as a whole and leave their pasts behind.

You can find Emancipation Proclamation here: http://kharizzmatik-ep.blogspot.com/2009/08/prologue.html

Rhian

xx

Breaking Dawn Trailer

Well it’s no surprise that we’re all swooning over the brand new Breaking Dawn trailer. I am immensely happy that Summit finally employed someone that was a good trailer editor and teased us just enough. Opening with anticipation as the wedding invitations are received, heightening the drama with Jake’s embittered response.

The audience are invited to the big event – an invitation that I will be taking advantage of for sure!

They teased us with some magnificent, if altogether too brief shots of the wonderful couple. Bella looked quite the beautiful bride and Edward’s voice-over made my heart flutter.

Who doesn’t want a man who loves you so much that eternity doesn’t feel like enough? Or maybe I’m just a romantic… Okay, admittedly there’s no maybe about it. I am swooning.

Then BAM: HEAT. Oh my god, so freaking hot – the bed breaking! I was close to hyperventilating for sure.

A little apprehension creeps in at the end. It was surprisingly well done, I thought – the whole pace slowing right down, honing in on Bella’s form and I almost feel that nudge myself. As Edward’s anxious face owns the screen….

Kudos Summit. I whine about the things that you get wrong, but I’ve got to commend what you’ve done right and I really think that this trailer is one of them. I am looking forward to November – please don’t disappoint me.

Rhian

xx

Emancipation Proclamation: Strength

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”

 Mahatma Gandhi

Isabella has a strength of spirit that has allowed her to survive a life of brutality. Edward has cut himself off from the world to survive, living an empty life pushing everyone away rather than actually feeling anything inside.

What use is survival when there’s no will to live; no life to truly live?

Strength comes from within, but sometimes, it has a little outside help. 

“I was broken until you came into my life and I’m finding myself again. I never thought it would happen, never thought I’d find someone like you. My mom used to talk about fate all the time, and I think now that you’re my fate. You were brought to me for a reason, for us to save each other. Because you weren’t the only one needing saving, Bella. I was drowning, and you rescued me. You’re my life now.”

Edward, Emancipation Proclamation

“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”

 Alex Karras

Simply Me

Hello lovelies!

I have got a new blog, one that isn’t Twilight specific where I can share all of my loves. I will blog about books that I read, films or shows that I watch, music that I listen to, food that I eat… anything and everything that I think is good enough to want to share with you.

In case you haven’t already guessed, I like to express myself through the written word, and seen as I don’t have the time to write at the moment I’ll be going there to share my thoughts and interests to satisfy my muse. It’s up to you if you want to read about them.

I don’t live a particularly glamorous life, I don’t have much money, a big house or a gorgeous man, but I do have things in my life that I love. I love stories that move me to tears, films that capture my imagination and food and drink that makes me moan. So if your interested click on the icon ‘Simply Me’ to the right to see my new blog and sign up for alerts if you want to.

Rhian

xx

Belated Birthday

I’ve just realised that my blog being one year old completely passed me by! It was one back at the beginning of the month. I just wanted to do a quick post to acknowledge it at least.

I haven’t made many posts and I don’t have many followers, but I do cherish the friends that support my blog and make me want to continue. I have really enjoyed all that I’ve done here.

I love nothing more than hearing that someone has decided to read a story because of something that I’ve said. And this blog gives me somewhere to put my banners rather than them going unseen in some folder on my lappy.

So even if you barely stop by, or don’t really know me I want to say thank you. I’ve had fun and I hope you have too.

I am thinking about getting a new blog that I will use to post about my non-Twilight loves – books, music, films, food… anything that I’m enjoying enough to want to share with you. What do you think? Is that something that people might be interested in?

Thanks for your help in advance, never be shy of contacting me J

Rhian

Emancipation Proclamation: Hope

"In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibration of beauty."

Christopher Darlington Morley

All Isabella ever had to look forward to was a life of hardship and cruelty and to dare to dream was to dare too far, for the loss of hope is more painful than a life without it.

Edward’s soul was shattered as a young child. The loss of his dear mother crippled him, his suffering could not be eased and he never even tried to heal.

But there it is – that little glimmer of hope that changes everything. The light is still dim, the dream still ethereal but now there is a chance that there never was before for something more than mere survival; a chance at life.

 “In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

Albert Schweitzer

Fifty Shades of Grey

This week I have said au revoir to Master of the Universe by Snowqueens Icedragon the story that has taken me on a journey for over a year now. But I can say a massive hello to Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James. *makes mental note to ask Icy where the 'James' came from*

I don’t have anything more to say than I already have about how much the story has meant to me, as I’m sure you’re all well aware by now, but I couldn’t let this day go by without a bit of a hurrah. Well done Icy, Ms Author.

I got my copy *squee*

If you want to buy your own head over to the Writers Coffee Shop now:  http://www.thewriterscoffeeshop.com/publishinghouse/books/detail/23

You can follow Icy in her new splendid guise on her new blog https://sites.google.com/site/eljamesuc/ Very pretty by the way.

Oh and just because I love a bit of naughtiness, why don’t we see these again ;)

And just to be thorough...

Oh my, I love some FiftyShades....

Rhian

xx

Emancipation Proclamation: Edward and Bella

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

Anais Nin

Isabella Marie Swan. Edward Anthony Cullen. Worlds apart. Born into different realities. But there is a spark. A thunderbolt. Colpo di fulmine.

Can they break a cycle of hate and pain?

"Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings."

Elie Wiesel

Rhian

xx

Emancipation Proclamation: Carlisle

“I was sobbing loudly. Dr. Cullen stood up and took a step back, eyeing me. I glanced up at him, frightened and uncomfortable. He seemed to be contemplating something, and after a moment he grabbed the roll of duct tape. He pulled a piece of duct tape off, ripping it with his teeth, and pressed it over my mouth quickly to muffle my sounds.”

Emancipation Proclamation Chapter 17

I may be hating Carlisle right now.

I have been sobbing for Isabella’s pain. I wailed the most when he speaks to her the next day, saying that he hadn't intended to be so cruel. I honesty can’t quite pin point exactly why that section got to me as much as it did, I'll let you know if I figure it out.

I really hope that he does redeem himself.

Now I’m going to go cry some more.

“Punishment - The justice that the guilty deal out to those that are caught.”

Elbert Hubbard

Emancipation Proclamation: Isabella

“Abraham Lincoln delivered the Emancipation Proclamation in 1862, outlawing ownership of other human beings, but it didn't end there. Slavery exists in every corner of America. With enough money, you can buy anyone.

It’s the year 2005… and today I’m being sold.”

Emancipation Proclamation Chapter 1

“Sleep is good, death is better; but of course the best thing would to have never been born at all.”

Heinrich Hein

EP is such a poignant tale that I have been drawn into completely. The harrowing tale of Isabella, born into slavery, sold to a new master at the tender age of sixteen. She knows nothing of the world and much of human cruelty. She inhabits the dark side of the world where life is mere survival without hope or possibility. Isabella’s life is about to change. That much I can tell already.

Find the story here http://kharizzmatik-ep.blogspot.com/2009/08/prologue.html

Rhian

xx

Emancipation Proclamation: Edward

"This is a world of compensations; and he who would be no slave, must consent to have no slave. Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it."

Abraham Lincoln

Babsiebaby has finally talked me into reading Emancipation Proclamation. I put my big girl panties on and I’ve cried like a baby already. I am only part of the way through, so no spoilers please, but my Photoshop vibe has come out to play.

Kharsizzmatic has some of the best quotes to start her chapters that really show an insight not only to her story, but to humankind. She shows us humanity in all it's guises. Naturally, I felt inspired.

This banner was inspired by Edward and who he is at the beginning of the story.

"Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and oftentimes we call a man cold when he is only sad."

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Find the story here http://kharizzmatik-ep.blogspot.com/2009/08/prologue.html

Sinspiration

I have naughty thoughts this evening and thought I'd share.

The things I'd let him do with that tie...

*breathy sigh*

Rhian
xx

Master of the Universe becomes Fifty Shades of Grey

It has been dubbed Master of the Universe Appreciation Day so of course I had to post something! So here goes – probably my last MotU banner *sniff*

It’s no secret that I am a huge Master of the Universe fan. This little blog gives me away even if my tweets and reviews don’t already. I was thrilled for Icy when she shared the news that she was publishing with The Writers Coffee Shop. It came as no surprise as it was obvious that publishers were going to want this story – they would be crazy not to want this.

But for me, my obsession with Twilight FanFiction is just that – an obsession with Twilight and its characters. I found FanFiction.net because I was looking for a finished version of Midnight Sun, but once I opened that Pandora’s box I got all kinds of addicted. I just couldn’t leave the characters of Edward and Bella alone and for almost two years I didn’t read any other fiction purely because their story is never complete for me. Every film that I watch, song that I hear and now that I have started reading original fiction again, story that I read, all comes back to Edward and Bella – they are so deeply are they ingrained in my psyche.

So originally at the thought of MotU being reworked and stripped of all it’s Twilight references, I found myself wondering whether I could love it still if it wasn’t Edward and Bella – the characters I have grown to love so well. I was happy for Icy of course, just a little apprehensive that I, due to my crazy brain, would lose something essential in the conversion from Edward and Bella to two unknown, unfamiliar names and faces.

I am a sharer by nature and so just to get a little TMI – turn away if you must – I was browsing some tweets in the bath when I read one from @Raizie7 about a Christian Grey. I wondered who it was and followed a link and saw this -> http://www.thewriterscoffeeshop.com/publishinghouse/books/detail/23 and literally got goose bumps!

My fear fell away and I was left with pure excitement. I should have known to trust in our Icy. The title is so stirring to a MotU fan – the fifty shades analogy and persona still in place, the duality of the title playing on the strong name of Christian Grey. We can live this story again in all its glory. I can’t wait and will definitely be pre-ordering this book for my Kindle to hear what Ana has to say… I wonder if she rocks the ellipsis as much as Bella ;) Does she have a wanton inner goddess and a snarky subconscious with half-moon shaped glasses? I am excited to find out.

And so I suppose it’s time to say thank you, Icy. It’s been one hell of a ride. From finding a good story on FanFiction.net, to ambling innocently into a Twilighted forum, to gaining a wealth of friends on Twitter. MotU is an amazing story that holds a special place in my heart, but even more so because it is the story that prompted me to join this crazy community of Twi-lovers that has become a huge part of my life. I’ve done more, learnt more and made more friends in the last year than I have in a long time. So this is a thank you to you, Icy for being not only a talented writer with an infuriating penchant for painful cliff-hangers, but for being the catalyst of my journey into this world. And this an equally grateful thank you to all of you amazing ladies that have shared this experience with me, made me laugh and made me cry and changed my life for the better.

 

Laters, baby, because of course this ride isn’t over!

Rhian

xx

And naturally, I just couldn't leave that tie picture alone…             

Midnight Sun

Midnight Sun is my favourite book of the series, even if it isn’t finished and published. It consumed me as a reader and inspired me to write my own EPOV – The Meadow – because I was gutted that Stephenie Meyer hadn’t got that far in her draft.

I find it beautiful to watch the jaded, cynical Edward come alive and dare to dream. A simple girl brings with her a silent mind and selfless nature and a hope that he had never before experienced.

When reading the books in the saga I find myself always thinking: ‘What is Edward thinking now?’ just like he does with Bella. It’s the character of Edward that keeps me here in this Twilight world.

Here is one of my favourite passages in Midnight Sun, the moment that Edward truly opens his heart and admits a love that he never thought he would feel:

“

I owed it to her to do the right thing now; I could no longer pretend that I was only in danger of loving this girl.

After all, it really didn’t matter if I left, because Bella could never see me the way I wished she would. Never see me as someone worthy of love.

Never.

Could a dead frozen heart break? I felt like mine would.

“Edward,” Bella said.

I froze, staring at her unopened eyes. Had she woken, caught me here? She looked asleep, yet her voice had been so clear…

She sighed a quiet sigh, and then moved restlessly again, rolling to her side – still fast asleep and dreaming.

“Edward,” she mumbled softly.

She was dreaming of me.

Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? I felt like mine was about to.

“Stay,” she sighed. “Don’t go. Please… don’t go.”

I struggled to find words to name the feelings that flooded through me, but I had no words strong enough the hold them. For a long moment, I drowned in them.

When I surfaced, I was not the same man I had been.

*happy sigh*

If you’d like to see my attempt at Edward’s version of the meadow scene you can find it here:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6019078/1/Illumination_Edwards_Meadow

But if you go to the Twilighted page you can see ange de l’aube’s stunning banner that she made for me:

http://twilighted.net/viewuser.php?uid=79914

Sorry for the self pimp, but it seemed to make sense with this post.

Rhian

xx

Master of the Universe

I am still in shock from the ending of the last chapter of the amazing Master of the Universe. I’m still surprised over the pregnancy revelation from the chapter before it, actually.

Icy has masterfully lured us into a false sense of security. She has rendered a solid foundation for their relationship with more open communication between them than ever before. We have seen the growth of a mutual trust that was shining through just mere moments ago it seems. I had gotten to a place where the things that I feared for this couple were external – fears for Charlie, worries about James – and my confidence in the security of Edward and Bella’s relationship was unwavering. Then bam! Kudos, Icy. Really.

Along comes a little blip, and it’s so much more than a blip on the radar; it is change and a responsibility that neither are ready for. It is a loss of control that our Fifty can simply not comprehend at this juncture in his life. He has so little faith in himself and this pregnancy has caused his faith in Bella to falter too. My heart breaks.

This is such a shock for them both and I know all too well how Edward feels unworthy of love and has fears that run much deeper than most about his ability to be a father, but nevertheless his reaction hurt. I know that it is all based on his own fear – Bella could see that when he exploded:

“

“You think I’m ready to be a father?” His voice catches, and it’s a mixture of rage and panic.

And it all becomes clear, the fear and loathing writ large in his eyes – his rage is that of a powerless adolescent. Oh Fifty, I am so sorry. It’s a shock for me too.

Add Edward’s drunken evening with Irina to the mix and everything is shaken. It's so sad to see him fall back to a place where he would seek her out as someone to lean on. I really hope that he just bumped into her somewhere.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been so scared for this couple. During their separation *shudders at the memory* the following song was often in my mind, and here it is again:

"All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right
This splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long
Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong

The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could
First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything
The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness"

I never thought I would see this pair at such odds again. *sniffs* Come on, Edward. Bella and the Blip need you.

Anyone want a hug? You can come sing Come What May with Ange and me if you like…

*hugs*

Not that I need to tell you, but you can find MotU on Icy's blog: http://50shades.com/ 

Rhian

xx